I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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