yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
