He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize