I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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