you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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