I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
