so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize