I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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