Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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