Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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