Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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