She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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