My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
