do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
