Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
