Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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