the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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