why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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