you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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