I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
