My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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