Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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