i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize