Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
