so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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