i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Randomize
