either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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