I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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