She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
