I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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