...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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