bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
