i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
