Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
