Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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