i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I heard we made out
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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