I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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