you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
