so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
