I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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