Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
