your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
