She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
