Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
