Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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