all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
