He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
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We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Randomize