He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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