DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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