She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
