I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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