I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
