just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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