God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize