how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
