she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize