her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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