I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
